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Robw · Veteran Member

My airgun hobby was a godsend for me when I went through my
divorce.

toadmyster223 · Senior Member

Cheer up guys! Always keep a positive outlook! And don't take any of those damned pills the doctors prescribe you! I have lost so many friends that started on those and became totally different people...

The philosophy that keeps me from depression is this: Remember what it was like before you were born? That's the way it's probably going to be when you're dead. Religions promise a lot and prove none of it, why bank on that? (Not assuming any of you do,) The time you have here, that's IT! So why waste it?
I have been depressed before, dealing with the first friend I ever made dying in a house fire in K-1, with pretty bad family issues in my adolescence, HELLISHLY BAD relationship issues at far too young an age, dating after highschool for 3 years a girl diagnosed with Huntingtons Disease who, come to find out, was also from a terrible family of certified (hate to use this term in good company) white trash (welfare abusing, drug and alcohol abusing, child abusing).... Flirted with homicide, flirted with suicide just to get out of the situation i was in, dealt with knocking her up because she secretly took antibiotics with intent to negate her birth control at age 18; dealt with an abortion the day after my senior prom; dealt with more familly problems after her family kicked her out and she invited herself to live with me, which gave my grandmother who had been on Ativan for 20 years fits; dealt with this goofy b!tch trying to kill herself after starting therapy and being prescribed several varieties of antidepressant. I have been low, low, low over that girl and her clan. Luckily, getting rid of her was NOT difficult to do emotionally, she was just like a damned cockroach.

Wow, went on a rant there. Sorry, I just assume you guys have had much more traumatic events, and wanted to hold a candle to the torch of the issue. But in the end; my philosophy holds: This is all you are promised. You cannot focus or get hung up on the negative aspects. If your entire family has left you, every friend in the world, you can always go the hell somewhere else. The world is vast and beautiful. Save up a little money and travel to a foreign place. (Is there some restriction on getting a passport for you diagnosed cases? That question just came to my mind). Find a new group of friends, immerse yourself in your hobby (as we all do), or try something you have always been afraid to do. Life is TOO SHORT to spend feeling bad.

Sorry for the hugely offtopic escapade, but you guys, for some reason, feel like a community that holds value in my heart. Everyone should find happiness.

Robw · Veteran Member

I am just the opposite. I believe in God. He has helped me through a lot.
Sounds like you have been through the ringer too. My first relationship was
almost exactly like yours. I came from a hard working family where the
members have always supported themselves and I thought that she was
raised the same way.

After getting married and living with her for over a year, we went to visit
her family. The first visit was a shock for me as they were living off of
welfare in a hovel and they seamed very crazy to me. They bitched about
how unfair it was of the government to give them such little money.
None of them had ever worked a day in their lives. A few were shop
lifters and thieves. The rest just sat around, getting drunk and stoned.
Throughout our relationship they stole many of my tools and other
belongings that I had worked for. It was a nightmare. I had problems with
them for years after our split up.

Looking back makes me feel very fortunate that they are finally out of
my life and do not have a clue as to where I am at.

Hey, and it's no problem if you need to vent, brother.

toadmyster223 · Senior Member

I'm not saying there is NO God, but I definitely don't bank on it. If thats a sin, sorry, big guy. Razz

oddtodd · Silver Status Member

I wish mine were external. THen at least I could change it. Mine is due to a chemical imbalance though. If you want more info look up schitzoaffective disorder on the net. It's something you are born with. I'm adopted, so my parents are a crapshoot. I do work hard at it though. I take my meds, I eat right, I don't smoke much, no alchohol or street drugs, etc. Without my meds I literally cannot function. I was in a state hospital for a little while till they got my meds right and I still have problems once in a while.

I am in a good place though. My fiancee has the same disorder though not nearly as bad and it helps when you are with someone who really understands. We have our own house with someone who comes and checks on us. I see a therapist as does my fiancee. I have a caseworker that helps me with my appointments and keeping my medicaid straight. I don't steal, I don't get stoned, and I keep my house as clean as possible. I also volunteer at the local historical museum.

I am the blacksmith there since the old one passed away. I get to do something I like, I.E, something that comes so natural to me. I think I would have been a blacksmith in olden times. I don't have much besides my airguns and my computer, but those are my major coping skills along with my guitar. If I don't shoot I work on them. Right now my fiancee is getting ready for a total hip replacement so that is taking up a lot of my time. Alltogether though my life is very good. I am happy, healthy and positive. I do believe in god, but not to the extent I would like to. I am still working my way up to let go and let god.

I have a good life since my divorce though. Not much money, and I don't get to see my boys very much, but people that understand are a big part of my life now and it helps oh so much. My ex is no longer beating me down all the time as being less than a man because I hear voices. I don't catch crap because I can't keep up. I do know about women who are abused not leaving their mates though. Been there done that have the scarred up t-shirt. lol I don't catch a rash of sh!t because I forgot something. Now I have a bunch of alarm clocks set for different things and all four of my alarms on my watch are used. lol Something is always beeping or dinging around here.

The director of the museum says I am his own personal savant. SOmebody does all of my paperwork for me. A nice little old lady named amanda. She has a son who is downs so she is very understanding and patient with me when I am trying to explain what I did or what I need or what I need permission to do.

Email and posting is my savior though. I have already read this six times because I get lost very easily. I edited a lot too that didn't seem to make sense.

If you even start to feel sorry for me I will beat your a$$ though. lol My life is probably a lot different than yours, but it is a happy life for me. I am now in my happy place and I know how to be there for the rest of my life.

So we are all different and it makes for a big old world. I think it would be better if loved each other and used things instead of being the other way around, but it seems to be getting there for me anyway.

whm1974 · Veteran Member

Glad you guys have something to keep you busy.
Mental illness is hard enough without having to deal with boredom on top of it.

toadmyster223 · Senior Member

I apologize todd, you are right, I guess I am not internally affect as much, although I admit to a rage issue. Those meds still scare the hell out of me.